Jak zbudować więź, która daje bezpieczeństwo? O psychoterapii dedykowanej rodzicom i niemowlętom

– Im wcześniej zareagujemy, gdy czujemy trudności w relacji z niemowlęciem, tym większa szansa na zbudowanie z nim bezpiecznej więzi, która wpłynie na prawidłowy rozwój dziecka – mówi dr n. med. Lidia Popek z Mazowieckiego Centrum Neuropsychiatrii (MCN) w Józefowie.

Budowanie więzi od pierwszych chwil życia niemowlęcia ma kluczowe znaczenie w jego dalszym rozwoju. Przywiązanie jest wynikiem odpowiedzi matki na całkowitą zależność niemowlęcia, a w dalszym rozwoju na skłonność dziecka do tworzenia więzi. Zaspokojenie potrzeby uwagi, czułości i bliskości pozwala dziecku prawidłowo się rozwijać w późniejszych etapach życia. Dzięki temu niemowlę uczy się tworzyć związki, doświadczać i regulować swoje emocje. Dziecko wyraża swoje przywiązanie poprzez szukanie kontaktu fizycznego: ssanie, przywieranie, a także próbę zwrócenia na siebie uwagi w postaci płaczu i krzyku oraz uśmiechania się. Wiadomo także, że istnieje silna zależność między jakością opieki rodzicielskiej a rozwojem ośrodkowego układu nerwowego u niemowlęcia.

Wychowanie dziecka, zapewnienie mu poczucia bezpieczeństwa i bezwarunkowej miłości nie jest sprawą prostą. Nie każdy rodzic radzi sobie z tymi wyzwaniami, nie zawsze więź z dzieckiem udaje się kształtować w sposób prawidłowy. Konsekwencją może być zaburzenie lub zahamowanie prawidłowego rozwoju. Jakie sygnały mogą rodzice odebrać jako ostrzeżenie, że więź może kształtować się nieprawidłowo?

dr n. med. Lidia Popek / archiwum prywatne

Jak tłumaczy dr n. med. Lidia Popek, pojawia się najczęściej dyskomfort zarówno ze strony niemowlęcia, jak i rodziców. Na przykład rodzice mogą mieć wrażenie, że odpowiedzialność za niemowlę przerasta ich możliwości. Odczuwają złość i frustrację w kontakcie z dzieckiem lub czują się bezsilni i bezradni, opiekując się nim. Mają wrażenie, że nie rozumieją swojego dziecka, nie rozpoznają, kiedy jest głodne, a kiedy najedzone, nie potrafią ocenić czy może dziecko coś boli. Z drugiej strony niemowlę może nie szukać bliskiego kontaktu z mamą lub tatą, gdy jest niespokojne. Nie interesuje się zabawą i poznawaniem świata, gdy jest do tego zachęcane. Dziecko często płacze i nie reaguje na próby pocieszania. Może dojść również do sytuacji, w której mamy i ojcowie unikają przebywania sam na sam ze swoim dzieckiem.

– W takich sytuacjach warto szukać fachowej pomocy, ponieważ wczesna interwencja zapobiega powstaniu nieprawidłowych relacji między rodzicami a niemowlęciem, a tym samym umożliwia pomoc w prawidłowym kształtowaniu więzi. A jeżeli w tym układzie coś się psuje, to głównym pacjentem nie jest ani rodzic, ani dziecko, ale ich związek. Na tej podstawie został opracowany w Centrum Anny Freud w Londynie model Parent – Infant Psychotherapy, a więc psychoterapia dedykowana rodzicom i niemowlętom. Jest to terapia o potwierdzonej naukowo skuteczności – mówi dr n. med. Lidia Popek.

Mądre wsparcie

W Polsce nie ma tradycji i ośrodków, które zajmują się tego typu psychoterapią. Wielkim osiągnięciem jest powstanie takiej możliwości w MCN w Józefowie. Wyszkoleni psychoterapeuci oferują wszystkim potrzebującym rodzicom i opiekunom psychoterapię rodzice-niemowlęta od 0 do 12 m.ż, która jest bezpłatna. Polega ona na bezpośredniej pracy terapeutycznej z rodzicami i ich relacją przywiązania z dzieckiem, przy obecności niemowlęcia w trakcie sesji. Nie trzeba mieć skierowania, wystarczy zgłosić się telefonicznie lub mailowo.

– Psychoterapia odbywa się regularnie raz w tygodniu i trwa godzinę. Liczba spotkań, czyli czas trwania procesu terapeutycznego, jest indywidualnie dostosowywana do potrzeb. Psychoterapia ma na celu wspomaganie relacji rodzic-niemowlę, niektóre cele skupiają się na funkcjonowaniu rodzica w relacji z dzieckiem, a inne na wspieraniu kroków rozwojowych niemowlęcia. Terapia zajmuje się również szeregiem świadomych i nieświadomych czynników, które wpływają na indywidualne modele bycia ze sobą rodzica i dziecka – mówi dr n. med. Lidia Popek.

Przekonuje, że stworzenie prawidłowej więzi z dzieckiem wpływa na wszystkie etapy jego rozwoju: na poczucie własnej wartości dziecka, zdolność i chęć do poznawania świata, radosne dzieciństwo i stabilne wejście w trudny okres dojrzewania.

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